adventurous beginning of my new life with him

got married 4 months ago. UPT was positive 2 months ago. was happy and excited but later got problems, unstable emotions...before i found out that i'd missed miscarriage. the fetus is still 7 weeks length eventhough its age is 11 weeks. no heartbeat. gone to another hospital, HKL, same diagnosis.

later went to pusrawi and again, diagnosed incomplete abortion. need to do dnc. two days later, i got cramp like period pain but little more painful than that, plus shivering and sweating for 15 minutes.never felt like this before. passed out a large blood clot 4cmx4cm then an hour after that, the empty sac passed out, painlessly, smoothly. the sac is around 10cmx10cm. really huge. felt like im already experienced half of the pain of delivering a baby.

i still cant forget the moment something really huge passed out of my body.
after what had happen, i got 14 days mc. a heavenly gift from Allah. somehting i really needed and hoped for this last few months, and He gave it, but not for free.

truely, after every hardship/sorrow, there's happiness. wink*



ok forget about these things. i can still get pregnant normally after this, insyaAllah. what i need to do is planning, these 2 weeks of mc, i cant go out! duduk rumah, takboleh buat kerja. sooo


my life plan is :

1) exam mjdf next year (april 2013)

register online. i already had account for online registration : rcs 90672**, Dr NA Abdul Hayei.

2) before 40/after grad as sp/kalo dah bosan ngan gomen, ill start my private practice.

read these :

private healthcare facilities and services act (nur ayman>kerja talk)

so now, lets study lah kan.

p/s : bila sakit macamni, husb plak jaga i macam princess, macam nk mengandung tiap2 bulan rasenye =p

you came into my life

kadang2 rasa his love is more than mine, pastu rasa terharu pulak. uhu..

semalam aku rasa gatal2 badan yg agak teruk...dia terus p beli ubat gatal dan tolong sapukan...dengan muka concern. aku betul2 rasa dihargai...time single dulu xdela nak rasa camni. hee...i love you!

things that you did to me, u may think it is small, but not for me. i will cherish the moment, i will remember and write it down here. i love you and will always love you.

muhasabah @ pengiraan semula

mengnang kembali tahun2 yang lalu, telah banyak perubahan kecil yang berlaku pada aku, seiring dengan perubahan tempat, suasana, teman dan umur barangkali...
apa yang aku harapkan hanyalah secebis pengalaman yang mendewasakan, agar aku dapat menjejak tangga menjadi muslimah yang lebih bertaqwa. harapan aku, untuk mati dalam iman, rahmat dan mendapat syurgaNya ameen.

so...simple things je sbnrnya tp sbb untuk muhasabah, so aku kork satu2 kot

emm...

dulu, masa skolah menengah, apa aku buat hari2 ye? aku rasa masa skolah dulu macam suci gila..bangun sblm subuh, sblm azan dh siap atas sejadah, solat jemaah, baca mathurat,,,pakai tudung labuh, tak cakap ngan laki, belajar..balik makan, solat zuhur jemaah, baca quran then ptg belajar lagi...asar baca manzil, solat jemaah...mghrib solat jemaah, baca quran, solat sunat, dengar tazkirah..mlm study lg...sblm tidur dgr tazkirah pendek , baca mulk ngan sejadah then baru tidur...

alhamdulillah, aku pernah rasa kalau mati time tu pun takpe sebab aku mudah beribadat masa tu.(huhhu)

pastu aku ditakdirkan sambung belaja kt ngr jordan ni...alhamdulillah, persekitaran pun islamik..tp sebab dah tak ada peraturan sgt so...berjihad jugak aku kalo nak bangun sblm subuh dan mathurat...solat jemaah slalunye mghrib isya je..nasib baik kwn2 semua jenis nak solat jemaah, so senang la nk pupuk suasana yg baik...baca mathurat sama2...pegi kelas tafaquh sama2 pada hujung minggu...haihhhhhh rindduuuuunyeeeeeeeeee ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

rindu itu menggamit aku untuk pulang ke jordan. meredah sejuknya angin urduniy untuk sampai ke sebuah rumah yang sejuk juga untuk mendengar kata2 peringatan, belajar feqah dsbg...bertemu merapatkan silaturrahmi...mudah untuk mendapat pahala.

cumanya disebabkan kebebasan di situ, aku dah mula tinggal sikit2 mathurat dan quran..tak sekerap masa dok asrama dulu...nasib baik persekitaran kawan2 islamic, so adelah jugak program buat hafalan...jadi aku refresh jugak hafazan...masa bersama quran tu diperbanyak dbantu persekitaran teman2 dan persatuan.

kini, aku tercampak lagi bekerja di bawah bumbung badan kerajaan, bercampur dengan 1001 jenis manusia dari pelbagai latar belakang, yg majoritinya bukan dari aliran agama..baru aku sedar selama ini di sekolah dan jordan, aku adalah kelompok yg boleh dikatakan minoriti di kalangan majoriti rakyat malaysia. kebanyakan mereka yg berlatarbelakangkan agama akan memilih tempat kerja yg juga punya biah islamiy, yg mngkn bukan tempat aku skrg ini.

apa yg boleh aku katakan ialah, apa yg aku pernah biasa buat suatu waktu dulu di skolah, di jordan, adalah sesuatu yang majoriti org taktahu. masa jamuan hariraya ada karaoke? that is a no no to me!! allergic sungguh! lelaki bertepuk tampar ngan prmpuan? auuch, walaupun aku bukanlah ustazah, tapi bagi aku itu adalah suatu pemandangan yg sgt buruk....how long will i face this.. i just hate to be minority... i am an ordinary girl who needs good environment to keep being a good muslimah...banyak dah benda yg aku tinggal since back from jordan... really a dull life to keep going with...
lg satu majoriti perempuan adalah gatal suka menggoda, dan tidak tutup aurat. tidak pandai menjaga maruah. muslimah kena tahu jaga akhlak kan. aku bukannye baik tp benda2 basic as muslimah tahulah kan. maruah!

basic medical science

welcome back u busy girl!

okeh, hari ni baru habis basic medical science exam which is blurghhhh susah nak mampos. semua anat,physio,biochem,neuroanat,patho, pharma microb dirangkum dalam satu exam. naaa...im a dentist not, daa

ok, antara soklannya :

pasal low density lipoprotein,VLDL,HDL, chylomicron? its structure, function and all..
foramens at base of skull and what structure lalu
pharyngeal arches, which develop into what structures and what nerves
gentamicin plus what diuretics causes ototoxicity- hydrochlorothiazide or furosemide
amphotericin B
hepatitis C infection - can still work as dentist?
process of sterilization in clinic
test to check autoclave
hepatitis C characteristics
structure of amino acids
bupivacaine not preferred over lignocaine, why?
lignocaine plus adrenaline - what benifit?
branches of facial nerve
facial palsy,what structure involved
severe traffic accident
accidental removal of parathyroid gland will result in what after 1 week?
glycolysis can work without oxygen?
why pain from heart referred to jaw of same side?
chorda tympani branch of facial nerve?
facial nerve give sensory supply to anterior 2/3 of tongue?
scalp infection can progress to brain?
bacteriodes fragilis - what antibiotic
actinomycoses treated by?
herpes labialis treated by?
bp taken at which artery at upper limb? at lower limb?
venous presure, intrapleural pressure, intramural pressure
draw diagram on how dehydration corrected
total body water and its distribution
why a diver has joint pain?
immunoglobulin A dimeric form can obtained from secretion?
visual area at which lobe of cerebral cortex?
hemophilia A lack which factor?
explain the process of platelet aggregation
why platelet has impaired function?
difference between bleeding time and clotting time
difference between sterilization and disinfectant
examples of adrenergic agonist, clinical use